master of the obvious

I’m the master of the obvious

I’ll tell you what you know

If a play has gotten good reviews

I’ll call it quite a show

If there is rain or snow or sleet

Or if a tire is flat

I will not mince a single word

I’ll say exactly that.

I’m the master of the obvious

I’ll tell it to you straight

I’ll call a window window

And I’ll call a gate a gate

I will tell you you’re a person

And you’re wearing a pair of shoes

I will tell to you or you or you

The most obvious of news.

I can tell a ceiling from a floor

And a hammer from a horse

About the very obvious

You’d consider me the source

But if you hanker knowledge

That is not so very pat -

I don’t do well with the subtle

So please don’t ask me that.