i didn't eat

I didn’t eat a cow
I didn’t eat a shoe
I didn’t eat my underwear
I ate some too.

I didn’t eat the window
That was giving me the view
I didn’t eat the door
I ate some too.

I didn’t eat Rachel
And I didn’t eat you
I didn’t eat your brother
I ate some too.

I didn’t eat the falsity
I didn’t eat the true
I didn’t eat up earth and sky
I ate some too.

can't forget blues

I don’t want to remember
But I can’t make it forget
And the harder I try to forget it
The more that the memory’s set

I tend lose so many other things
Some were quite hard to get
But this memory that I just want to burn
My brain just won’t forget

I really did not want to know
So I try and try and yet
That thing I thought that just should go
I never will forget.

unwelcome guest blues

I have an unwelcome guest
In my own house
And that unwelcome guest
Is not a mouse
And that unwelcome guest
Is not the cat
And my unwelcome guest
Is worse than that
And my unwelcome guest
Is not the sound
Of too many people
Sitting around
And the unwelcome guest
Is not my uncle
Even tho he may have
That dangerous carbuncle
And my unwelcome guest
You’ll know it’s true
Isn’t the reader known
As you
The unwelcome guest
I think you’ll see
Is somebody who goes
By the name of me!

raymond and you

Raymond could make a mess
When he made one he would confess
He’d say that he made it
But the way that he’d say it
Kind of made you want to clean up that mess

Raymond could fly a kite
In the daytime or in the night
But the way that he flew it
Insists that you blew it
And your blowing did keep up that kite

Raymond he had a leg
With such a misfortunate sag
When he wanted to walk it
He’d just have to talk it
And you would be moving that leg

Raymond, he had a barge
That was so incredibly large
When he wanted to sail it…

Oh, it looks like you had enough
And that’s why that gun you discharged.

there's a tempest

There’s a tempest
In a teapot
And the teapot
Is my stomach
And my stomach
Is invaded
And the invaders
have big boots
And the boots
Weren’t left at the door
And the door
Is wide open
But they don’t
get my meaning
They just want to stay
And party
I want to yell
At the unruly guests
To get out
But they
Don’t have
Ears.

snowtoomuchmania

I’m knowing
That it’s snowing
All the flakes their to and froing
And it isn’t even showing
Any signs that it is slowing
I am full of pain and woeing
At this godforsaken snowing
But at least the wind’s not blowing
And I think I am outgrowing
All that snowman afterglowing
I’m absolutely vertigoing
At this snowfall status quoing
And I wish it was no-showing
But it still looks like it’s snowing
I kind of feel like throwing
Something at all the windowing
That is showing me this snowing
But I won’t.

where is the sun

Where is the sun when you need him
When the snow is wet
When the rain falls down
Where is the sun when you need him
Probably whooping it up
In somebody else’s town

Where is the sun when you need her
When you’re in a bad mood
And the night is so thick
Where is the sun when you need her
Probably shining
On somebody else

Where is the sun when you need it
When the planet is turning
But morning is late
Where is the sun when you need it
Probably spinning
Around some other planet

night whispers

The nighttime makes a sound
You can hear it if you’re around
You can hear it if you’re there
It is somewhere in the air

The night makes a peep
You can hear it when you sleep
You can hear it in your dreams
It isn’t what it seems

It whispers in your ears
To destroy all of your fears
But when your eyes are sun
The night sounds will be none

we eat the bedtime snack

We eat the bedtime snack
Because the food we lack
We eat before to bed we go
We eat the toast and escargot

We eat burnt bread and snails
Before we set our sails
To sleep and dreamland, that’s the place
But first we have to feed our face

I eat the toast, and you
Eat escargot, or two
We eat and then we go to bed
Where toast and snails dance in dream head

TV Turn off day

The TV will not stop
I maybe call a cop
I maybe shush with mop
I cannot turn it off.

TV? Turn off? No?
It won’t say bye to snow
Neverending TV show
I’ll stop with hammer blow

I raise the hammer high
It glints up in the sky
I do not wonder why
I just say “TV bye.”

syrup dish washing

I like to wash the dishes
Tho some think I am a dope
Because when I wash the dishes
I do not use towels or soap
I like to wash the dishes
Tho some think I am a drip
For when I wash the dishes
I wash them in syrup.

I wash the plates in syrup
And the silver and the cups
I wash containers to re-use
(For short, I call them “Tups”)
I wash the pans and all the pots
I get them clear of grime
And so I use the syrup,
Is that some kind of crime?

I wipe them dry with paper towel
Or kind of dry, ahem
I guess you’ll usually find the towel
Is kind of stuck to them
You might say, well, just overall
My kitchen’s kind of sticky
Come here for lunch or dinner time?
Most people would reply, “Icky!”

flapjacks for fish

I had run all out of fish food
And the fish were making troubles
They were telling me their hunger
With so many water bubbles
I had to give them something
On which to fishy chew
And, on top of that fish hunger
I was getting hungry too

I reached for Aunt Jemima
I reached for the frying pan
When fish have so much hunger
I do everything I can
I tested heat of pan
With just a drop of the fish water
And when it was hot enough
I did exactly what I ought ta

I made flapjacks for the fishes
And they ate them one by one
I made flapjacks for the fishes
And they liked them by the ton
Served with butter and with syrup
That’s what the fishes like to see
And when the fishes had all eaten
There were no flapjacks for me.

ode to bathroom

I need a break from the world at large
Its rigor, its crazy, its test
I need a room to get away
I need a place to rest
So I go to the bathroom
It is small and it has tile
I can hide inside the bathroom
For at least a little while.

I have a room to sleep in
And I have a room to eat
I have a room to hang my coat
And the shoes that wear my feet
But sometimes I just need a place
That’s only made for rest
The bathroom is my special place
The room I like the best.

I like my little bathroom
I sit in there and read
I leave it feeling satisfied
At least I might have peed
Sometimes the water doesn’t stop
So I fix the toilet flap
Compared to little bathroom
All other rooms are crap.

Moon Pillow

Moon pillow moon pillow
Corner of my eye
Moon pillow moon pillow
Fall down from the sky

Moon pillow moon pillow
Let me sleep your curvy
Moon pillow moon pillow
In my topsy turvy

Moon pillow moon pillow
Ears are fine for craters
Moon pillow moon pillow
Dream of mashed potatoes

Moon pillow moon pillow
Spacewalk in my brain
Moon pillow moon pillow
Like a gentle rain

Moon pillow moon pillow
In your trembling light
Moon pillow moon pillow
Just say that you might.

pulling down the shades

Pulling down the shades
Pulling down the shades
We will stand rejoicing
Pulling down the shades

Making room so dark
You can see sheets spark
We lay down rejoicing
Pulling down the shades

Turning out the light
Closing eyes from sight
We will sleep rejoicing
Pulling down the shades

song of the days of blast furnace

Untie your shoes with sealing wax
It is the latest style
And when you do it to your shoes
You do it with a smile

Everybody does the same
And then they do it wrong
They sing their nose a story
And they tell their hand a song

I am you and you are too
That is why we’re best
And when it’s time to say our prayers
We like to be undressed

Here is where we shall not be
There is just the same
The thing I say to make you look
Happens to be my name.

Less of this is total
And the rest is walking shoes
Make me talk all sideways
And you’ll just call it the news.

Night is for beginnings
And days are for the end
You are the one I’m talking to
And so you are my friend.

wrong side of guy

I blow my nose
In a key that is wrong
It’s kind of like singing
The incorrect song
When everyone else is
Singing it right
I guess I’m a sight

I ate my slice
From the wrong side of toast
When everyone else eats it
From the side of most
I put my butter
Where the rest set it down
Aren’t I a clown

I speak my mind out
By blinking my eye
It’s a technique
Nobody else knows to try
They like to talk
With their mouth or their hand
They don’t understand.

Helosie the Headache

I can have a kind of headache
And it hurts as hard as stone
When I have that kind of headache
I just want to be alone
But there’s another kind of headache
And it doesn’t really hurt
And if I am not mistaken
That headache’s kind of a flirt

It’s Heloise the headache
And she does go by that name
And she feels as nice as candy
And she doesn’t come with pain
She’s the headache known as Heloise
She is so nice to me
That I sometimes serve her crumpets
And I sometimes serve her tea

I think I’ll invite a headache
But it won’t be the hurting one
She is Heloise the headache
And if I call her, she’ll come
We’ll have some nice togetherness
And then she’ll leave my head
I dare not take an aspirin
‘Twoud kill that headache dead.

pome not from Sequitor

Me oh my
Fish gotta fry
Birds gotta lie
Bicycles must fly

Hum ho hum
Chew your eyes out gum
Can be very glum
If you won’t share some

Bim bam bom
Where did my old mom
Put the atom bomb
Somewhere by the palm

Reep reep rip
Take a little sip
When you fall and slip
Then give us your lip

rather head pome

I took my bicycle there
To the bicycle repair
But while I was there
At the bicycle repair
they cut off all my hair
At the bicycle repair
At that old bicycle repair

I stood by the frozen lake
I had a small headache
But it wasn’t a headache
It was a big earthquake
And I fell into the lake
I fell into the frozen lake

I have a little head
And it’s full of the books I read
But I forget what I just said
I could have had a lump of lead
But I’d rather have a head
Than anything instead
Than anything instead

pie brushing

They had a last piece of pie
They didn’t put it in their eye
They had to brush their teeth so they
Brushed their teeth with the pie

The pie goes up and down
Their smile turn into frown
And then it turn back smile again
As teeth become less brown

They didn’t eat the pie
They didn’t throw it in the sky
They didn’t sit on it instead of chair
They brushed their teeth with the pie

airplane ride

I took an airplane ride last week
But didn’t get very far
I could have taken a longer trip
Had I gone by bus or car

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

We fastened all our safetybelts
We sat down, understanding
That we would soon be taking off,
But we just kept on landing

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

They announced our destination
And we got off, not quite knowing
But it wasn’t Vegas where we were
In fact, it still was snowing

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

Las Vegas Quartet

1

the sun came down to Vegas
to gamble on some slots
it burned some holes in vinyl chairs
'cause sun has got the hots

it wore its darkest sunglasses
as kind of a disguise
but the other gamblers were not fooled
when sun burned out their eyes

sun kind of lost its shirt
the day was very dark
so the neon lights came out at noon
all over County Clark


2

there was so much to eat at the Vegas buffet
so dreamy, so creamy, so rich
and i didn't want to miss a single delight
i had to have some of each
but i cannot eat just a little bit
i tend to stuff my face
so my pals and i went to the Vegas buffet
and i ate the entire place

those little plates would never do
i had to eat it all
so i made a serving platter
from a section of the wall
i ate everything, whether good or bad
it really didn't matter
and when i finished all the food
i ate my whole wall platter

i must have had a cow of steak
it really wasn't fair
and when i ate up all the food
i ate most every chair
i could barely move when i was done
i ate the room down to the studs
and i also ate all of the people
except for me and my two buds


3

water went to Vegas
to have some water fun
it had to see the water shows
and saw them, one by one
but water has a tendency
just like you'd maybe think
and water overdid it -
water had too much to drink

water got pretty drunk tonight
it doesn't know how to say when
and when it stumbled down the strip
everyone was its friend
water wanted all the people to know
how happy it can get
but a little hug from water
can get you mighty wet

water had to show the fountains
exactly what they lacked
but water was so completely sloshed
it nearly blew the act
now water is despondent
and sits right down to cry
and makes a vow that next time
it will do Las Vegas dry


4

i saw the lights of Vegas town
but they did not see me
they had so many eyes to blink
but none of them to see
they could have said "heave ho" to the sun
but that they didn't say
they just winked and blinked and all turned off
when night turned into day