the sun is a cucumber

The sun is a cucumber,
I know this fact quite well
And the football team will practice
In the bottom of the well
The weather calls for Charlie
The third floor is down below
And I read it in the paper
But which paper, I don’t know.

The war is made of matches,
The election is on ice
The moon manufactures napkins
And the naughty are all nice
The pope has no eyelashes
And the nurses have too many
And I read it in the paper
But which paper? Could be any

The rudest cads are charming
And the children have old age
And I know up is a downer
Cause I read it on some page
I know how many toenails
I know phlegm is served in shoes
I know everything is nothing
Cause I read it in the news