woes of rest

I tried to rest on my laurels
I tried to rest on the couch
I tried to rest on a bed of nails
But I just kept on saying ouch

I tried to rest in a corner
Stacked with dozens of soft pillows
I tried to rest all my arms and my legs
And my mouth and my eyes and my nose

I tried to rest on my backside
I tried to rest on my feet
I tried to rest on the top of a pole
And on an uncomfortable seat

I tried to rest in Kentucky
I tried to rest in Maryland
I tried to rest by laying low
And also by taking a stand

I tried to rest in my undies
I tried to rest in my sweats
I could try to rest in the casino room
But I would have to call off the bets

I tried to rest on the basis
Of my reputation fine
I tried to rest using sleeping pills
And gallons of bottles of wine

I tried to rest by the glow
Of the TV set in my room
I tried to rest by closing my eyes
And thinking about the moon

I tried to rest on some blankets
The softest of them are the best
But I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried
And I just couildn’t get any rest