this is my wrong to you

i'm wronging you this little song
cause I can't get it right
i tried to write it yesterday
and nearly all last night
i want to say some kinds of things
and say them in a song
but when the pen hits paper i am
getting them all wrong

i want to tell you that you're swell
but it comes out like swill
i want to call you Betty
but i end up saying Bill
i want to say your eyes are pools
but it comes out like pails
i want to sing it gently
but i hammer you with nails

i write until my fingers turn
a shade of cherry red
and when i've used up all my thoughts
this song is all i've said
i know it isn't very good
and isn't very long
i'll sing it in no proper key -
i hope you like this wrong.

blue bike

You saw the garage door
Wide open
In anything but a grin
I was so many years ago
On a boat or a train
And then you said something
And I returned to bed
I looked out
From the second story window
I couldn’t see anything.

We had to walk down the stairs
Like a scary movie
1 a.m.
The garage door was so open
But all it had to say was black
You saw my helmet on the ground
I had to pick it up
I couldn’t see anything
I couldn’t see my bicycle
You couldn’t either

The next morning
You saw the cut padlock
In the hostas
And then we could write
Our police report

i had to make a bridge

I had to make a bridge to get
Across the open place
Because I had no bridge supplies,
I made it with my face.

I went a little further until
I got to the chasm wide
There was no bridge, so I made one
From the guts from my inside.

There was a little valley
But there was no bridge out there
So I made my own by tying
Body parts up with my hair.

The final bridge that I made
Was to cross the serious sea
When I got to the other side
There was no more of me.

i asked the flowers to dance with me

I asked the flowers to dance with me
But they just looked askance at me
I asked them if they’d take a look
But they kept reading their flower book
I asked them if they’d like a kiss
It seemed like they did not hear this
I asked them what they wanted to eat
But they just stood there in the heat.

I asked the flowers to sing with me
But they wouldn’t do a thing with me
I asked them to the movie show
But all they did was stand and grow
I asked them to go to a play
But all they wanted was to stay
I told them to look at the moon
But they closed up their little bloom.

somebody's pulling my leg

Somebody’s pulling my leg
And somebody’s pulling my arm
And somebody’s pulling my other leg
And my other arm, and my head by my neck.

Somebody’s pulling me this way
And somebody’s pulling me that
And somebody’s pulling me that way and this way
And north way and south way and east and west too.

Something has got my ear
And something has got my eye
And something has got my hands and my feet
And my toenails and fingers and torso and movements.

Somehow has taken my life
And packaged it into a series
And added commercials and complete product placement
And all I have to do is buy it.

there was a revolution

There was a revolution
And my eyelids went on strike
And my nostrils staged a walkout
My contract they did not like
And my mouth is saying nothing
My elbows in sympathy
And my legs won’t cross the picket line
Oh woe oh woe is me.

We entered negotiations
With our expectations high
I represented management
And I am a giving guy
But the body parts were greedy
And their agent was my skull
And the contract talks were, shall we say
Nothing at all like dull.

The picket signs were painted
“Down with Me!” is what they say
And the final contract deadline
Is ending with the dawning day
The strike began this morning
Neither party wants to bend
And if my heart walks out on me
This may just be the end.

i wrote a list

I wrote a list to save my mind
From all that memory
But where I put that list of things
Is not so plain to see.

I did not put it in my hat
Or inside my left shoe
And without the list to remember where
I don’t know what to do.

The list had all my passwords
And the names of all my friends
It had my city and my state
And most of my loose ends.

But now I cannot find it
And that puts me in a bind
For losing that important list
I’ve pretty near lost my mind.