wrong side of guy

I blow my nose
In a key that is wrong
It’s kind of like singing
The incorrect song
When everyone else is
Singing it right
I guess I’m a sight

I ate my slice
From the wrong side of toast
When everyone else eats it
From the side of most
I put my butter
Where the rest set it down
Aren’t I a clown

I speak my mind out
By blinking my eye
It’s a technique
Nobody else knows to try
They like to talk
With their mouth or their hand
They don’t understand.

Helosie the Headache

I can have a kind of headache
And it hurts as hard as stone
When I have that kind of headache
I just want to be alone
But there’s another kind of headache
And it doesn’t really hurt
And if I am not mistaken
That headache’s kind of a flirt

It’s Heloise the headache
And she does go by that name
And she feels as nice as candy
And she doesn’t come with pain
She’s the headache known as Heloise
She is so nice to me
That I sometimes serve her crumpets
And I sometimes serve her tea

I think I’ll invite a headache
But it won’t be the hurting one
She is Heloise the headache
And if I call her, she’ll come
We’ll have some nice togetherness
And then she’ll leave my head
I dare not take an aspirin
‘Twoud kill that headache dead.

pome not from Sequitor

Me oh my
Fish gotta fry
Birds gotta lie
Bicycles must fly

Hum ho hum
Chew your eyes out gum
Can be very glum
If you won’t share some

Bim bam bom
Where did my old mom
Put the atom bomb
Somewhere by the palm

Reep reep rip
Take a little sip
When you fall and slip
Then give us your lip

rather head pome

I took my bicycle there
To the bicycle repair
But while I was there
At the bicycle repair
they cut off all my hair
At the bicycle repair
At that old bicycle repair

I stood by the frozen lake
I had a small headache
But it wasn’t a headache
It was a big earthquake
And I fell into the lake
I fell into the frozen lake

I have a little head
And it’s full of the books I read
But I forget what I just said
I could have had a lump of lead
But I’d rather have a head
Than anything instead
Than anything instead

pie brushing

They had a last piece of pie
They didn’t put it in their eye
They had to brush their teeth so they
Brushed their teeth with the pie

The pie goes up and down
Their smile turn into frown
And then it turn back smile again
As teeth become less brown

They didn’t eat the pie
They didn’t throw it in the sky
They didn’t sit on it instead of chair
They brushed their teeth with the pie

airplane ride

I took an airplane ride last week
But didn’t get very far
I could have taken a longer trip
Had I gone by bus or car

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

We fastened all our safetybelts
We sat down, understanding
That we would soon be taking off,
But we just kept on landing

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

They announced our destination
And we got off, not quite knowing
But it wasn’t Vegas where we were
In fact, it still was snowing

Our airplane only went down
It didn’t go up and around
It didn’t take us very far
We didn’t leave our town

Las Vegas Quartet

1

the sun came down to Vegas
to gamble on some slots
it burned some holes in vinyl chairs
'cause sun has got the hots

it wore its darkest sunglasses
as kind of a disguise
but the other gamblers were not fooled
when sun burned out their eyes

sun kind of lost its shirt
the day was very dark
so the neon lights came out at noon
all over County Clark


2

there was so much to eat at the Vegas buffet
so dreamy, so creamy, so rich
and i didn't want to miss a single delight
i had to have some of each
but i cannot eat just a little bit
i tend to stuff my face
so my pals and i went to the Vegas buffet
and i ate the entire place

those little plates would never do
i had to eat it all
so i made a serving platter
from a section of the wall
i ate everything, whether good or bad
it really didn't matter
and when i finished all the food
i ate my whole wall platter

i must have had a cow of steak
it really wasn't fair
and when i ate up all the food
i ate most every chair
i could barely move when i was done
i ate the room down to the studs
and i also ate all of the people
except for me and my two buds


3

water went to Vegas
to have some water fun
it had to see the water shows
and saw them, one by one
but water has a tendency
just like you'd maybe think
and water overdid it -
water had too much to drink

water got pretty drunk tonight
it doesn't know how to say when
and when it stumbled down the strip
everyone was its friend
water wanted all the people to know
how happy it can get
but a little hug from water
can get you mighty wet

water had to show the fountains
exactly what they lacked
but water was so completely sloshed
it nearly blew the act
now water is despondent
and sits right down to cry
and makes a vow that next time
it will do Las Vegas dry


4

i saw the lights of Vegas town
but they did not see me
they had so many eyes to blink
but none of them to see
they could have said "heave ho" to the sun
but that they didn't say
they just winked and blinked and all turned off
when night turned into day